I dont know. They may even turn into a great career someday. He still loves Elmo. If they won't talk about autism, talk about the struggles without mentioning the diagnosis. If what you have is autism (it does not meet my definition as you are able to write this article, marry, have children) then that is not in anyway comparable to the kind of autism my son has and Cooper has. What makes it so different to talk about it in private versus on social media. Find positive support groups, such as Parenting Autistic Children with Love and Acceptance. But definitely not in the childs best interest. Support ad love instead of judging and pointing fingers. far more than a typical child. Do you put your own clothes on before you wander outside in below freezing temperatures? Learn the difference. To re a firm that just because i have break downs and the cold reality of raising a disabled child doesnt look like the made up fairy tale people try to sell you online, does not mean im a horrible mother or bad person. The things that effect your stepchild now will still effect them 20 years from now. Apologize to the child once they're calm, and try to do better in the future. You probably want to deny your parents the right to complain about you, but you project it on us. Im not a big sharer & try not to post things that are too personal, but that sure seems to be the way of the world nowadays. And its shorter for Autistic with intellectual disabilities. People like YOU should be shamed, not US for trying to educate you on how to actually not dehumanize your child, or US. Pile on? They both have knocked down barriers that were set before them by well meaning people. No respite or help. (after not being able to hang with anyone friend for decades because of the level of care you are responsible for at home). Your child may point out certain ingredients as "gross" or "scary." You have NO clue. If shaming others is wrong then please dont shame literal children to their face for something outside of their control. His reading comprehension is not even at a 1st grade level. Does that make you feel better to use capital letters. Not all sunshine and rainbows??? Avoid pretending to understand, because your child can probably tell you're faking it. Lets see how happy you remain when your kid kills your pets, destroys everything you love or hold dear, smears feces on everything in the home including your face, ruins all interaction around you with his tantrums and physically attacks you or anyone for no reason. They help me see the world in full color! Thats why theres no need to put those things on YouTube, where everyone can see them. None of us are perfect but clearly your social media skills need improving because you are trolling the wrong people: advocates for improvement in autism services, education and supportservices which you could benefit from if you honestly cannot see how mean and misguided your insults are. Its very hard for people who have no issues. A study was done looking at ability to empathise between: Neurotypical- Neurotypical people, Neurotypical-autistic people, and Autistic-autistic people. This is one point that I dont think many parents consider, but the fact is that the world is watching you. This mother loves her child as any other parent loves theirs. 1. And she cries because if she dies before he does she doesnt believe anyone will go to her childs funeral. I can't wait to go to work each morning so I don't have to be around her. (Because yall can hold down a job?) Autistic people may confuse I and you regularly, for example. Some of the best sources of calcium include milk, cheese, yogurt, spinach, kale, okra, collards, soybeans, white beans, and calcium-fortified juices and cereals. Thats how we treat him, thats how we talk about him, and thats how we expect the world to treat him as well. Theres no hidden child underneath the Autism. simply to be liked by own parents? Sorry, if your child has an intellectual disability, thats NOT autism. And Im not sugar coat this. Just because our neurotype is different, doesnt mean we dont need and deserve the same respect. thank you. For others, the answer is a simple but disheartening "no.". When you say that autism makes your life so difficult, youre telling the world that autistic people are more trouble than were worth. Required fields are marked *. If you dont have a support network, Im so, so sorry to hear that! Wow, Kaylene, such a great essay! Cant wait to see your list ten years from now, when reality has set in. Everyone is coming from a different perspective. With the current situation going to the hospital for any other reason is not the best option. It is especially important to avoid sugar at night, when it may disrupt your childs sleep. Yeah, I bet. In general, its best to avoid making your child feel too awkward. There is something that I can not understand why my autistic child ruin things (e.g., cutting mouse wire, toilet lights pulled switch, throwing android tablet from third floor flat, peeled laptops keypads, smashing laptops screen, rip trousers intentionally, etc) and waste things (e.g., squeezing new tube of toothpaste, shampoo, bath-gel out until empty, etc). My ex was totally out of the picture even when we were married cuz its easier for him that way. Keep in mind this too. I find it interesting that the first thing this article does is shame a mom for her blog. I KNOW I was. 4. Good or bad labels! Saying you wouldnt say these things about your normal child why would you abut the one that is autistic. You KNOW autism, as WE ALL know, IS A MAJOR CHALLENGE. make sure you talk to them about how to handle the situation. No local services. Shaming other people pain and how they express it is wrong. My oldest has her DL and when school thought she couldnt do it I said shell fail like any other child. Those are the exceptional few on the spectrum. When you say that you don't think your child will have any friends ever, you're telling the world that autism makes someone un-loveable. The key to understanding how to calm an autistic child lies with understanding what it is that triggers the behavior. For example, if your wife likes spicy spaghetti and your daughter cries when given spice, place the spice shakers on the table instead of mixing spice into the sauce. Telling a specific mother she is not allowed to complain is very, very wrong. Im a teacher and mother of a severe ASD child and even as a teacher, I had NEVER seen the severe side until my son, now 5, regressed. So, all you parents who are reading this one: SPEAK UP ALWAYS!!! and I wonder if its not more a general problem of people seeking attention. Provide the child with tools to self-soothe, such as sensory toys, calming books or videos, weighted blankets, a swing set, or even a pet. Nonverbal autistic people can be very happy and successful in life, like Amy Sequenzia. The very fact that you wrote this tells me you have NO clue what severe autism is, or what it looks like. You dare nudge others while sitting on your throne of high functioning autism. You should probably take this article down. Develop the tech skills you need for work and life. YOUR brain may be fine just the way it is, but something happened to my healthy, typically developing baby boy and he got seizures and lost words, started toe walking, got a horrible rash, allergies, and regressed into full blown autism a neurological DISORDER. "I Don't Like My Child, Help!" "I've had it with my 12-year-old daughter who has ADHD, sensory disorder, and learning disabilities (LD). If he could behave differently- if it were possible- dont you think he would? Be consistent. People may well read this and say your not like my child or Youre too high functioning (both of which are irrelevant, its a judgement based on typed words, they dont know me and even if those things were to be correct, they do not make my words or the other persons childs experience any less valid) but some parents need to think about what they say and put out there. You are coming off extremely judgmental and rude. I grieve! Comer, J.R. Abnormal Psychology, seventh edition. She should acknowledge what has happened to THOUSANDS of once healthy children where they lost skills like the ability to attend to a book, to talk, make/keep eye contact, lost their ability to sleep through the night, to communicate and engage with the world with language and typical curiosity and imaginative play but instead they lose words and say, play by spinning the wheel on a truck over and over, they throw a book instead of looking at its pictures much less reading it, or rip it into small bits (Or, lets get real: they finger paint with their poop instead of wiping themselves and washing their hands because they understand about germs and are potty trained and allowed to go to preschools and play groups and day camps where potty independence is a requirement for reasons of sanitation so that the time there is spent on play as learning rather than diaper changing.). 2 School programs are comprehensive and available to all, but adult programs are sketchier and may involve long wait lists, particularly for families in which the adult WOW, so many ableist and abusive comments from autism moms who have NO idea what autism actually is. Some children may have low self esteem especially when the parents whom they trust in frustration write negative about their own children. I would suggest that the apparent lack of empathy is simply an autistic person being wired so differently they find it hard to relate to the needs and expectations of a Neurotypical person. Autism IS AN EPIDEMIC and my son is not alone in his need for a lifetime of care. We get no breaks. I have not complained for 30 years. You must ignore her posts where she cheers on her children and shows her sons accomplishments since youre only talking about her being upset. It can be overwhelming. Stop trying to hide them like they used to hide people with mental illness in institutions with physical & chemical restraints. Its the broadcasting of something private to her and her son. So you vent. I love my kids. For example, consider making homemade pizza with your child. That is your autism talking. Text with another parent of autistic kids youre friends with. As an autistic woman, I am appalled by the comments defending the public posts about autistic children. Im afraid Ill hit someone while being distracted by trying to dodge blows. You have NO CLUE what severe ASD is I was so annoyed all the time! Otherwise shut your trap about things you have no experience, or no clue about. I know I am not easy, I know I am difficult. However, with love and respect, you can increase social skills and help your child find happiness. Having to make plans for your own death so your child can be kept safe and secure after it. However there are real limitations to what can be done in a classroom with students. I dont complain on social media because Im off all social media. And I felt totally justified, too. Some school programs offer various degrees of mainstreaming, in which autistic children spend time in regular classrooms. Please apologize to this mama (and all the other ones out there) for telling her not to speak her voice. I feel really bad for him, youre disgusting. Yes, any parent would complain about any child and we do! So did my husband. Smh stop living in a pc fantasy world about true disabilities and stop trying to silence those that are raw and real about real life. From an autistic childs perspective, and my other neurodivergent friends, they are delusional and dont care about what their actual children think, and someones identify shouldnt be my child is autistic. as minors, we do not want to be seen as tokens or things for our parents to control. So I think what it comes down to is for parents to ask themselves two things: What are my support needs? Do I love my kid? Amazing that this seems to have been missed. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/1a\/Handle-an-Autistic-Child%27s-Behavior-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Handle-an-Autistic-Child%27s-Behavior-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/1a\/Handle-an-Autistic-Child%27s-Behavior-Step-1.jpg\/aid4929972-v4-728px-Handle-an-Autistic-Child%27s-Behavior-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"